NUS Invitationals, Skypark Visit
ok, i like to say time flies all the time.. feel like saying it cos it does. well, its been a while since I last post anything and much have obviously happened. One of the main thing was the NUS invitationals that i had last saturday on 19 june.
Things didnt really go well on NTU side with much events having DQ. Our obstacle relay, WJ's pet event, 50m manikin carry, the 4x25m manikin relay, my 100m manikin carry with fins, my rope throw were the few things that had the DQ or DNF status. Guess, smth is missing and we have to work on. These caused morale to be all time low but we manage to pull through till the end.
What was a relief was that ACJC which I have a way or another helped to train, gotten 3rd overall in Division B. Although this excludes the record holders and national champs, its a good start for ACJC in the long run. I am happy that at least it turned out well after months of highs and lows with much unhappiness along the way.
Its a sad thing that I have to say gdbye to AC as a trainer.. I had to move on i guess and pass it on to the next batch of willing helpers and I thank Neville for being the one for now. I have really learnt a lot from these bunch of ppl in AC lifeguards.
Moving on, HZ is back and we had a great dinner on tues. Ate some nice Korean food and had great deserts before watching a nice show. Well gotta thank her for the great company. haha.. Now HZ, if you r reading this.. IT IS YOUR TURN TO TREAT ME. hhaha.
Well, went to MBS skypark ytd. It was great!! It was such a nice view and we were treated to a free treat of aerial displays by RSAF!! WE R SO DARN LUCKY. The view is really the best you can get as of now in SG.. although some areas are still nt done yet but the general view from up there is really omph! especially for those who want to take photos.
my photos are in my fb and here are the links:
and here are a few snap shots
selfish
Been wondering bout my actions lately. It seems that although I may be offering help in a way or two but i m limiting my help to a point it seems that its nt really genuine. I find that I am limiting my help in a way that I do not compromise myself and I believe that I present it in an unfavourable manner.
It wasnt really like this in the past and is it because unconsciously I am protecting myself from being taken advantage of till a point that I seem to be a jerk to others.
My EQ seems to be a little prob. My dad and few gd friends did mention to me. Guess its the rage and the anger that come and go so abruptly.
Some of situation happened today brought out some of these behaviours which reminded me that somehow, i need to sit down and reflect.
Maybe I am thinking too much but I feel that being myself lately seems to be a little problem where I start to offend people in a way or two. Nt very gd but I guess I somehow have to make a little change, at least to the part on controlling or letting go of tt rage and anger within me through other more peaceful means other than thundering my voice when I get frustrated with myself.
Peace of my mind, guess thats what I should achieve now to be clear in my thoughts to have tt little change in me for the better.
Bored
Humans are never consistent and I am no different. Been running around doing this and doing that for days, weeks, months. When I am doing all those, I complain why cant I get a day's rest at the very least. Now, I do have 1 full day, nth much to do other than packing a bit of my room with no one at home and I am also uncomfortable with that. Weird isn't it?
Lazying ard seems so hard for me and I dunno why. This feels stupid I guess. haha. At least, I get slightly more occupied tonight with more world cup matches to watch n predict.
Its the season for soccer bets, sleepless nights, draggy day at work/studies (work for my case) for these 2 months. All thanks to world cup. haha.. Have my fair share of those as well since world cup is one of the only 2 soccer tournaments that I will watch. The other is Euro series.
As more soccer matches piles up, I slp less and work will start to pile up from tmr onwards.. Wonder how am I going to survive..
Random post for now just to pass time. Oh and NUS invitationals are coming up next sat so the countdown is 6 days.. Hope I can do well or at least to the standard I was 3 yrs ago. Time flies and as that happens, the body starts to feel the downhill trend...
Tired...
Tired is the word to describe my current condition over these few days. Guess burnt-out maybe a better word. The main thing is, I dun really feel like I had any holiday at all. Its been alrdy a mth aft exams and I have nt been able to take some time off for myself or to really enjoy a full day with friends and stuff.
Another reason I guess, is due to the constant meetings and trainings at night which leaves me practically only fri nights free. At least for now, this is the first tuesday night I get to spend at home, so hoorray! haha...
Think i really need more slp as i have nt clocked a 7 hr slp for quite a while alrdy and think that can be quite damaging to my body especially when i m doing high intensity activities such as lg trg and running almost 3/4 of the week.
Work has so far been fine and these 2 days, my boss has been rather good to me and nt really throwing me work. Silence before a storm? I dun care, gonna enjoy the moment for now that i have nt much work to do and he dun touch me so long i complete what he wants me to do. Shldnt I be like enthu bout everything and wanting to find more work to do like the past? Guess this kinda attitude is due to the reason that i m burnt out.
Countdown to NUS invitationals has started and its bout 10 days from now in an hr. It also means that she will be back in 10 days. Yeah! haha... cya soon if u r reading this!
In any case, its been 2 years since my last participation in NUS invitationals as a competitor. It feels weird event though i took part last yr as a trainer and team manager for ACJC as well as being a competitor under NTU for nationals. Nervous I guess and this time I am definitely more prepared than the nationals i took part last yr. I seek to do well and hope i can at least get smth for my rope event. Its the unwillingness to know that i missed the medal by 0.6s the last time rd. I am determined somehow to achieve it be it NUS invi or nationals, so i guess, its the last burst for NUS invi and a gd start for nationals.
For now, my eyes feel like closing so badly, so i guess i end off here for now and I look forward for your return and enjoy yrself for the time being. :D Countdown:10days.
dusty,snippets of my life and a sad sad story of my life-tribute to my mother
Its been almost 3 years since I last posted here. Looking back at this blog brings much memories back.
Much has happened over the last 3 years. I would say its life changing and what had happened through those 3 years have changed my life totally to a point that when I see myself in the mirror or i sit down to think, I just could not find the same me I used to see back in JC or secondary school days.
Early 2008, I entered army, went to BMT and went through some shit and fun but came out tougher and stronger in many ways. I have also somehow fulfilled an ambition since young-to be a soldier. I have signed on and taking the most feasible vocation(Air Engineer) that will some what make sense in what I seek and like doing.
I went on to OCS and had some amazing time. It was tough but I made lots of friends along the way and they were the ones who helped me through the tough process all the way till end of AFST.
During the time I was in OCS, my mum's condition turned for the worst. There were no more avail meds that can help her and the cancer cells were juz spreading. There was once where I received a call from my dad in air wing ops rm which I cannot forget. My dad asked whether me I could go to the hospital. He was in tears. I knew its smth no gd and I manage to rush down to Mt E in time. My mum was having lots of water in her lungs and she could nt breathe. She was stabilised in ICU when i went but it was apparently very bad before i reached.
After that incident, I guess it just went downhill all the way. A week in hospital, thats the first time I see my mum's fighting spirit totally washed out. She told us lots of things and was trying to get us ready to face the inevitable. I cannot never forget the words she told me and of which she told me: "Be strong"
During the week, my mum decided she would go to a hospice. We agreed and we got her to this hospice beside Mt Alvernia Hospital (my birth place). Its a weird feeling that I have never step there after i was born and here i am again after 19 yrs. But this was the place I last spent my time with my mother.
3 weeks, I visited her whenever i booked out and my family will stay over in the hospice with my mum. Finally came my birthday, a friday... I booked out from camp and got home to get stuff b4 getting ther to celebrate with my mom. However, we didnt in the end as she was feeling rather unwell.
Her panting was unusually heavy and it never stopped. By 12am, we knew it was about time. My aunts and grandma came. My whole family was by her side, claiming her down and reassuring her. 2am, there was no choice but to give my mum the morphine. It was then the last time her eyes opened....
I kept on holding her hand talking to her, so did the rest of my family.. She held on somehow and slowly, she claimed her heavy panting down. 7am, finally she took her last breathe and bid farewell to her life of suffering..
At least she was relieved of her pain in this mortal world and going to a better place...
The funeral came and went and my family struggled to continue on with a normal life after my mom's death as she had wanted us to. It was tough but we somehow made it through.
2009 came, I was alrdy halfway into my ALOC course. I have made friends who are also my colleagues.. And at least, I know much of these friendship will stay on for a while.
I finally stepped on the SAFTI parade square again and this time its not for drill competition but for the parade that i was always looking forward to- my comms parade. Before the parade, we were worried that it could be cancelled as it was raining very heavily juz b4. We were relieved when the sch commd told us tt rain or shine, the parade will go on.
The last 10 mins at the FUP was the longest wait and finally the music went on.. Finally it started...
The parade went on well, with a minor error by Jolene who marked our unique parade. There was also a nice sky and a double rainbow as well. It was then that I wished that my mom could be there to help me put on the rank.
Time went by and finally I entered uni. I went to NTU. I went to my hall(hall3) orientation camp and lot of fun and thats where I met a special someone. Sch started and we had great times tgt. However, she left NTU and went on to pursue her dreams overseas. It was sad but I was also happy that she went on to fulfill her dream. The sem ended and I went through my first ever written exam after almost 2 yrs of SAF life.
I went on to visit her and had a great holiday over in Ireland and it was great experience traveling alone. Ireland is really beautiful and its really a place worth visiting although much things were closed down during the xmas season.
Results came out and it was bad. It was only me and my busy schedules as well as excessive fun that I had to blame.
2010 came when I was overseas and it was the first and the most unforgettable experience I had.
After which i focused a lot more on my studies after the IH which I had fun with representing my hall for water polo and winning my first ever gold medal.
At least, the results that came out after my sem 2 exams were at least fine and helped to pull my GPA up a bit.
Life for my family over the past yr and till now has slowly but surely adjusted and returned to normal.
Last sunday was my 21st and I ran my 1st ever marathon to mark it before having a great party in the evening.
I guess, I sorta ran out of things to update but i guess, sitting down here today and thinking. I recounted and relive those moments again. I found that I grew up quite a bit over the span of almost 3 yrs. I believe I have grown stronger and more determined than before. I also believe that the experience I had in this period will see me thru much in my future.
As i consolidate my thoughts here, i do feel emotional bout many things- the past, my love life, studies and so on. But i guess the same words stays- BE STRONG...
Somehow, I believe these words as well as my hardwork and determination will see me through and I will be able to resolve whatever I have to, be able to face whatever I should face. I guess ultimately, these emotions are part and parcel of what makes me stronger and builds me up for the unknown and yet exciting future- good or bad...
